The Tantric principles apply no matter what scenario is unfolding in your life or upon the earth. Divorce rates were going up a lot during the Coronavirus. In the following article, we will examine this, and talk about some possible solutions. In times when we are considering ending a relationship, or taking a break, there is often an illusion that we have fallen out of love. From a Tantric viewpoint, you can tune in and out of the resonance of love. But two souls meeting and feeling the resonance of love has a very lasting capacity.
So-called “falling out of love”, is usually falling out of patience, attraction, clarity, or out of communication and understanding. At the level of the soul, there is a connection that isn’t touched by these earthly, day-to-day changes. However, communication, values, and attraction are the practical pillars of a romantic relationship. The relationship needs our attention in a specific way.
The Attitude of Transformation
Many people were unhappy with their personal circumstances during the Corona lockdowns and didn’t feel much choice or freedom. From a Tantric viewpoint, this disruption of your normal routine can be seen as something that can have a very positive effect. According to dharma, the universe has placed you in every life situation in order to help you to become liberated. Every experience is given to you as a lesson towards freedom and inner truth. It is important to take the lesson. Whatever you are currently experiencing in your couple relationship, learn your own lesson. Turn the scope of your interest towards yourself. The first reflection you can take is; “What is my lover mirroring for me right now?”. If the other person is annoying, they may be reflecting something back to you. Maybe there is something that can be learned. With this shift of attitude, you tilt your direction towards personal transformation. If you take your lessons here and now, with enthusiasm, you can sow the seeds for a much stronger relationship later on. You are taking an active, transformative viewpoint.
Sharing a Space
During Corona lockdowns, many couples were forced to share a space. This does create a certain pressure on a relationship. This can lead to a lack of transfiguration, to a lack of adoration towards our lover. This leads to attraction going down. This, in turn, leads to a lack of erotic intimacy. When sharing a space we can also run out of patience and compassion. The game of polarity between two souls, between masculine and feminine, is a very delicate game. It can be called the art of knowing when to be together, and when to be apart. It also implies knowing how to spend quality time together. Every couple has moments when they should not be together. Acknlowdgeing that you both need space is very wise. Take space before you start to run out of patience and lose the attraction. If you are staying together in a one-bedroom apartment, you will have to find creative ways of taking personal space. Spending every moment together leads to seeing your lover as a background feature, seeing them as banal. Taking time apart can dramatically reduce fights and irritation. Give a clear schedule for the time that you spend together and apart.
When you spend time together, do something meaningful, something that will enrich the relationship. This can be having dinner together, but doing it in a celebratory way. Wear fancy clothes, and do a meditation before dinner. This moves the meeting out of the banal and into the special. It is very important to create special moments together. Make deliberate dates. Slow dance in your living room. Bring romance and sparkle into the relationship.
While you are apart, spend your time wisely. Recharge your own pole, your own identity. This means doing things that make you feel masculine as a man, or feminine as a woman. Try to touch the depths of your soul.
How to Deal With Being Apart
During Corona lockdowns, many couples had to spend very long periods of time apart. This can lead to a falling out of connection, alignment, and unity. When you don’t see them in person it is easy to project all kinds of things onto your partner and to live in your imagination. Remaining in clarity about what is real within the relationship is something to aim for when you have a lot of time apart. If you are apart, your lesson from the universe is to be apart. This might mean making very active steps to accept the situation. Try to find an enthusiastic choice within your being to make the best of the situation and find ways to grow. Contemplate the meaning and the lesson. According to dharma, there is a reason behind you being apart right now. It may be an opportunity to work on your attachments and dissolve illusions. Come to a common agreement with your partner to explore the problem together, rather than seeing it as something standing between you. Use your time wisely. This can be a time of deep transformation that prepares you for your next physical meeting in an outstanding way. You can ask yourself; “How can I use this time apart to become the perfect, Divine lover for my beloved? How can I transform?”. Long-distance relationships need a lot of effort in communication. Communication will create a direct link between your inner universes. Without the opportunity for hugs and kisses, negative verbal expressions can have a very dire effect. Study nonviolent communication. Embrace conversation that includes the emotional body. Ask how the other feels, and how they are experiencing their inner universe. Listen deeply and really take in what the other is saying. Employ communication methods that go deeper. What is the other revealing as they speak? What gestures are they making? What is their soul trying to communicate? Attentive listening will reveal that the soul of the other is sending continuous love poems to you. Use this time for reflective and connective exercises. Take moments of deep adoration for each other. Contemplate the beauty and amazing nature of the other. Share poetry. Read books together. Within this time apart, create special moments. Have moments of ritual and celebration. Have creative dates together.
Together or Apart
Whether you are together or apart, you can bring awareness to the soulful connection between the two of you. To keep this connection alive, cut whatever is not nourishing. Stop whatever isn’t working. Remember that all the projections and expectations that you put on the relationship will eventually die away. Don’t build castles on the sand. Remain with your focus on active love. You have a beating, alive heart, that you can always employ to love the other one. You don’t need any conditions for this. You can be a fountain of love. Always aim to be the one who loves first, who remembers the heart first. Always admit your mistakes and humble yourself first. Always give and embrace the other first. This can become a ground attitude within your being.
Transcribed and edited by Charlie Wilson from