There are so many incentives to learn and practice erotic amorous continence. Every piece of advice is precious and worth its weight in spiritual gold. In this article, you will find practical recommendations based on the direct knowledge of several facilitators with decades of experience in both practising and teaching amorous erotic continence. It is delivered in the format “I’ve tried it, I’ve done it. It works for me. See if it works for you as well.”
Reprogramming Default Intimacy Settings
Unless you reprogram your structure, by default, arousal is associated with something selfish, childish, instinctual, and unconscious. With the rare exception of those who started practising yoga when they were 12 and didn’t fall prey to this process of negative association. There is a huge global egregor of the majority of men who masturbate, and it takes everybody down.
Two Basic Elements of Reprogramming
Now you can reprogram. You cast away that old programming and simply bring a new one. Reprogramming is based on two elements: repetition & intensity
Repetition: So that you can now associate the arousal with something peaceful.
Intensity: If you can reach intensity in that peace, the reprogramming process will become quicker.
How Does the Pain Baggage Get Created?
Perhaps you still hold back from full intensity during intimacy for now? Fine, hold back for now. You don’t need to feel guilty that you hold back. You hold back, because there’s a lot of pain. Just masturbating and not having a lover for way too long… – it hurts, right? It is an emotional pain that is associated with the state of arousal.
If you have an unpleasant experience while you open up to your lover and get aroused, it will add to the pain account. All of that pain will rise with the arousal that it is now associated with. Imagine pain trapped in capsules associated with arousal. This is how all sorts of pains rise with arousal. You can only take as much pain as you can take. So you let it there.
How to Process Unconscious Associations
What I would suggest you do is to share with her as she’s massaging you. Enter that conscious space, and also share with her how you feel. Become transparent. This conscious transparency is hard. You might have tears here and there. It is fine. If your lover is empathetic and kind, and if you agree beforehand that this is what you are going to do together, then you create a safe space.
Once you allow the pain to surface in your consciousness, you embrace it. She embraces it. You feel accepted, and the baggage will gradually dissolve. The feeling of holding back and the association of arousal with the low vibrations will all dissolve.
It will be necessary to address some emotional pain. Don’t be afraid. It’s fine. Let it be released. Just share with her more about how you feel. And gradually infuse everything with love. Consciousness and love are the two pillars of spirituality.
We are searching for these two elements gradually, because love may also be associated with pain for now. So gradually, just focus on anahata, and recall a state of love. Do heart-centring before intimacy. Continue to share with your lover and bring the love in.
The Biggest Happiness of a Tantric is to Make Their Lover Ecstatically Happy
Look at your lover. What does she need in the bedroom and generally? Ask yourself this question again and again … and again. What does she need? Ask her also. Contemplate it and see what you can give her. See what her needs are.
What’s Next?
This article is an extract from a wider course of teaching men the tantric way of love, the tantric path of love. It’s called Amorous Erotic Continence: https://tantrayogathailand.com/eac/
Mahasiddha Yoga have about 50 courses with different titles. If that sounds like something you want to know more about, you’re welcome to send us an email and connect with us: tantrayogachiangmai@gmail.com
This article was transcribed and edited by Adriana from the following video:
