In this article, we will talk about forgiveness as a universal mechanism that is beyond the relational model of forgiveness. We will then discuss the mechanisms of holding a grudge or guilt, and how much of a price we pay. Finally, we will talk about how to forgive.
You Can Forgive Because The Universe Can
Forgiveness is an essential notion to wrap your head and your heart around. There are many traditions and spiritual paths that address forgiveness. Forgiveness means letting go of the stories that we carry around and purifying ourselves from them. Within Tantra, forgiveness is considered a Godly attribute. The law of karma, of cause and effect, is always in action. However, as conscious beings, we have the capacity to go beyond our karma. If we could not move beyond our current points of resonance, we could never evolve, and we would stay always the same. Godly grace means that we can make a mistake a thousand times, but we only need to make the choice *once* to change our ways, and we will be forgiven. We don’t need to rectify our mistakes a thousand times. Grace is always at work and cleaning up the residue of our past actions. We always have the chance to start again, here and now. We always have the possibility to choose something new in this moment. This is because the universe constantly forgives. Forgiveness is an energy that allows us to cut all the hooks that have been defining and limiting us, in any moment.
Forgiveness Is Like A Screwdriver
Forgiveness is seen as a societal value that we should hold dear. However, it is much more than this. It is an energy that will continually attract grace into our lives. Forgiveness should be seen from this vaster point of view. From this zoomed-out perspective, forgiveness is a mechanism that allows for evolution, and for constant renewing and refreshing. Forgiveness is always necessary for the process of healing. You need to forgive in order to evolve and free yourself of past wounds. Forgiveness allows you to come to lightness and to be free of these hooks. The energy of forgiveness allows you to move past self-imposed limits.From the viewpoint of psychology, the being is seen as a product of reactivity. Most of us are subordinated to a lot of automated, patterned behaviors. In the spiritual realm, you have the opportunity to undo these patterns through growing in consciousness. Forgiveness is like a screwdriver that can undo some of these patterns that can be very self-destructive.
Guilt Does Not Heal You
The effects of not forgiving are holding a grudge or feeling guilty. We hold onto these energies because we are hoping for a certain outcome. This process is mostly unconscious. When we are holding a grudge, it is because we have some kind of wish to be compensated. We either wish to get some kind of favour, to be understood, to be told we are in the right, or to force the other to change. There is always a drive to get the other person to do something that will benefit us somehow. The Buddha says that holding a grudge is like eating poison and hoping that the other person will die. We pay the price of having a negative mood. We pay the price of being closed up and having tensions in the relationship. Holding a grudge always costs us something. When we don’t forgive ourselves we hold onto guilt. Again, we hope that somehow this guilt will reward us. It will help us to transform or not to repeat the same mistake. By punishing ourselves, we hope that we won’t do it again. Again, we pay a big price. To bring about natural compassion, the first step is to bring the light of awareness to the problem. Look directly at the effects of holding a grudge or holding guilt. Ask yourself what can really bring about a transformation. You can request transformation in a kind way, either from yourself or from someone else. The entire energetic effort of holding a grudge or holding guilt is freed up as soon as you forgive. All of the thoughts of grudge or guilt that are being maintained when you tell the story over and over again, eat away at your vitality and energy levels.
Healing From Guilt And Grudge
Allow the story to be held within your awareness, without indulging in tiny details. Write it down. Holding this story in the light of awareness can help you to understand yourself, and the mechanism that is unfolding. You can disidentify from being the protagonist, and identify as the witness. When you become aware of the mechanism of grudge or guilt, you have the opportunity to make a choice. When you know what grudge or guilt costs, you can invite forgiveness into your being right away. It’s very good to ask yourself what price you are paying for holding onto this grudge or this guilt. Simply observe with a lot of honesty.
In Tantra, forgiveness is a universal force. This means that you can choose to tune into the resonance of forgiveness, and actively invite it into your being. You can begin with just a second of forgiveness. This creates space for forgiveness to enter. Give yourself time and be patient. Keep returning and looking into the mechanisms of guilt and grudge. Become aware of the boundaries that you have and express them. Become aware of the past mistakes that you wish to transform. Do whatever spiritual practices that will allow you to directly invite forgiveness into your being. Pray to the angels. Visualize bright white light filling your being. When you are able to alchemize grudge or guilt you will receive such a drastic transformation. When you forgive, the story in your being subsides, and love becomes accessible.
Transcribed and edited by Charlie Wilson from