Playing the roles of Shiva and Shakti within a relationship means that there is a polar dynamic between the two of you. It does not mean that you are not a complete being within yourself that has both consciousness and energy. Of course, men and women bring different aspects to the relationship. Nevertheless it doesn’t mean that: “oh the woman is never conscious”, or “the woman is not solar”, or “she doesn’t have discipline”, or other stereotypical ideas.
The Dance of Shiva and Shakti
When the two complete universes of the lovers come together, when these galaxies collide, then the specific interaction between them will make both of them very fulfilled.
The dance between Shiva and Shakti is the dance of the essential identifications that we carry as men and as women. You could then argue: “We say that the role of the woman within a relationship is to bring the energy of love. Well wait a second, does it mean that the guy doesn’t love?”
That wouldn’t make any sense. We know from psychology and even just from common sense that everybody needs love, everybody brings love, everybody has a necessity to learn (for example to love actively). Nevertheless the feminine viewpoint upon love brings a certain revelation of that energy into the relationship. It brings a certain capacity to understand love, to relate to love in a wonderful and natural way.
It’s important not to indulge into forced simplifications such as; “you are a man, you only deal with consciousness and you’re a woman and you only deal with love”. It’s not like that. Yet we bring certain aspects to the relationship that can then enrich the two beings.
Contemplation of the Masculine and Feminine Principle
Both of you awaken within your being a deep understanding of what it means to relate as a woman to Shakti and as a man to Shiva. Come to a deep connection to these cosmic expressions of the feminine and the masculine and then understand how they manifest within your being.
Obviously they’re manifesting in all of us, but what does it mean to be born with a body that can have life grow within it? How is it to be born with an essential deep wish for transcendence? Contemplate that and align yourself more and more with the findings within your soul. How does your soul wish to relate to Shakti? How does your soul wish to relate to Shiva? When these aspects become clear the game within the couple relationship also becomes clear.
Mistakes to Avoid
It is usually not very helpful to make rigid rules about this and then point out if the other one is not fulfilling the rule. This is what the ego will tend to take from this. There are certain pointers that you can study in depth in the Tantra course.
For example, we speak about the woman actively training to have trust and to trust in the direction of her beloved. Of course this shouldn’t be done with an extremist attitude. A woman should remain very conscious and very alert in what she is doing. It is not about abiding by rigid rules.
Final Piece of Advice
Understand that when you become one with mother nature as a woman and you continuously feel yourself as a part of mother nature, something will be deeply fulfilled within your being. And it will also manifest in the relationship.
If as a man you come to perceive your deep connection with the absolute silence of the void, of Shiva, something will be deeply fulfilled within your being. You can then bring that profound fulfillment into the relationship.
It’s a dance. Sometimes he will make a suggestion and she will make the choice. Don’t get too attached to specific words, rather contemplate the deep cosmic principles.
This article was transcribed and edited by Adriana from the following video: