Do you ever feel like people don’t really hear you or do you struggle with trusting those around you? These feelings can be frustrating, but there are ways to change how you communicate and connect with others.
Understand the Transformative Message
If you often feel like you’re not being heard it’s important to reflect on this experience. Ask yourself, “What’s the transformative message here?” In other words, what can this situation teach you? If you frequently feel unheard, consider what you might need to work on within yourself.
Start by examining how you express yourself. Do you fully understand what you’re trying to say before you say it? Clarity and sincerity are key. For example, when you say “I’m angry” but don’t actually feel anger, your words won’t have much impact. On the other hand, if you express real feelings, whether it’s anger or love, the message comes through with power because it’s authentic.
Improve Your Listening Skills
Being heard is not just about how you speak, but also about how you listen to others. When you truly listen — really pay attention to what someone is saying — it can have a profound effect. People soften when they feel they are being listened to, and they are more likely to take in what you have to say in return.
If you’re fully present during conversations, giving your full attention without distractions, others will naturally become more open and receptive to you. This deeper level of listening can completely change the dynamic of your relationships.
Find the Right People Who Share Your Interests
Sometimes, it’s not just about how you express yourself, but also about who you’re talking to. If the people around you don’t share your interests or care about the same things as you, they may not fully engage in what you’re saying. This lack of connection can make you feel like you’re not being heard. It’s important to engage with people who share your interests and values, as being in the right environment helps you feel more connected and understood.
Practice with a Trusted Friend
If you’ve had experiences in the past where you didn’t feel heard, these feelings can sometimes give an exaggerated bias and influence how you perceive interactions today. It’s possible that a part of you may still carry that belief, even when people are listening.
A helpful exercise is to practice with a friend you trust. Ask them to listen carefully to what you’re saying and repeat it back to you in their own words. This simple technique can show you how your words are being received. You might realise that people are hearing you more than you think, or you may discover areas where you can improve how you communicate.
For example, you could say, “Here’s what I told my boss,” and your friend can then repeat back what they understood. This allows you to check if the message you intended is the one being received. If the feedback isn’t quite right, you’ll have a chance to adjust your words. Gradually, this will help you refine your communication skills and understand if anything from past experiences is affecting your perception of communication.
It’s important to recognise that learning to express yourself clearly and listen deeply is a process. By practising clear, sincere communication, improving your listening skills, and surrounding yourself with people who share your interests, you can begin to feel more heard and develop deeper trust in your relationships
This article was transcribed and edited by Tony from the following video: