In this article, we will look at stepping into the direct experience of your life with awareness. We think we know what Love and Arousal feel like, but we rarely take the time to truly observe the related bodily sensations, the energetic movements, and our inner state. Mental projections can easily override the direct experience of love and arousal.
How Does the Direct Experience of Love Feel?
Imagine if there were no word for love. You would find yourself next to your lover, and your heart would send waves of vibrations, generating an uplifting feeling in your being. It would be warm and expanding, and it would just move up, rising. That would be the direct experience of love.
After we’ve had this direct experience of the heart generating movement with the feeling of warmth, there comes the word love. We start to confine love to a concrete form of our previous experience. We say, “It has to move like that.”
There is a special spark in the direct experience. When, for example, your lover makes you smile, she tells you a joke that you like, and you laugh with all your heart. In that laughter, you feel viscerally: “I love her.” Then the sensation of love appears freely.
The Process of Superimposing Limitations on Love
If you are attentive, you would notice that we tend to superimpose the image of love (our partial understanding of it) onto the experience of love. Instead of perceiving love itself, we perceive our mental image of love. We lose a great portion of the actual experience of love.
The same goes for the arousal, and for everything else. The conditioned mind anticipates the outcome and then projects it.
Let’s say that we usually feel that love uplifts us, but today we feel that love sways us. We cannot perceive this. We start to perceive something, and very quickly label it and project our previous experience. “It’s love”. Immediately, the mind imposes that it must be uplifting. This covers the actual sensation.
There is a difference between the actual experience and what our mind has made of it.
One of the Biggest Obstacles to Erotic Continence
This is why so many guys say, “I thought it was fine. Everything was fine, and then I suddenly got so aroused!” Yes, because you weren’t looking directly at the arousal. You were looking at your mental image of the arousal.
Your mind immediately classified that you started to feel aroused. You start to feel aroused, and then you put it in a box. A mental image remains there to buffer you from the actual experience of arousal until the arousal becomes so big that you ejaculate.
A Very Fine Gesture of Awareness
This is one of the gestures of awareness: we discard scepticism in order to unmask the actual experience from the projections of our mind. Once we do that, the arousal is not so hard to control.
Love and eros grow so much when you actually look at them, because you feel them directly. You need to actually feel them in real time. From time to time, you say to yourself, “This is eros”, but for the rest of the time, just be quiet and look. Don’t assume that you know anything. Let the energy surprise you. Let the vibration surprise you.
Learn More
This article is an extract from an online course teaching men the tantric way of lovemaking and the tantric path of love. This transformative course is designed for men who aspire to become better lovers and to bring more joy to their beloved women! It brings hands-on, how-to aspects in a very pragmatic and direct way, based on the direct knowledge of several facilitators with decades of experience in both practising and teaching amorous erotic continence.
Check out our Erotic Amorous Continence Course for Men here.
This article was transcribed by Adriana from the following video:
