20 minutes as a minimum time for foreplay is a guideline, which might be a trigger for some! 20 minutes is a good start, but you will do much longer foreplay when you start to actually attune to your lover. Due to the energetic setup of the woman anything shorter than that will very likely lead to “sex” and not “Eros”!
Tantric Foreplay: The Gateway to Ecstasy
In tantric foreplay, it is recommended to focus on warming up the woman for at least 20 minutes before taking things further, which can feel rigid for the man or selfish for the woman. However, long foreplay is very important in helping the man to slow down and the woman to warm up. It helps the couple to get in touch with the erotic flow.
The average time for lovemaking according to studies is 4 minutes. This leaves no time at all for foreplay. However, we must remember that the suggestion of 20 minutes of tantric foreplay is the bare minimum. A Tantric canl make love for 2, 4, 8, or even 16 hours. 20 minutes of foreplay should not be taken as a rigid rule, but as a playful guideline to get an idea of where to start.
If this condition of extended foreplay is being met with the right attitude, ecstasy is guaranteed from the first moment of actual intercourse.
What do we need to understand regarding this, or to eliminate selfish thoughts or feeling triggered by this important concept?
Water of Woman and Fire of Man
The energetic manifestations of a man and a woman are completely different. Men and women need to be attuned to each other. The watery energies of a woman need time to warm up. The fiery energies of a man need to have some time to quieten, to calm down, and to be present.
There needs to be time for adjustment, which a longer period of foreplay brings. This energetic attunement will help the lovers to stay with the more elevated erotic flow and not fall into lower, animalistic, sexual tendencies.
If you follow the principles of Eros intuitively from your heart, you will have a much longer foreplay. The attunement of the lovers will allow them to feel each other on a much deeper level. They will feel each other’s pleasure and become one merged being.
The Woman is Active in Foreplay in Her Consciousness
There are no rigid rules. It is about feeling into each other. Typically foreplay is not shorter than 20 minutes when this attunement to each other’s energies is present. You will likely descend to gross sexual energies if you do not let time work its magic.
Feeling selfish for a woman in this case is a very common thing. Nowadays this is hammered into women by society, but she needs to understand that she is giving a lot while she is being pleasured.
Women can actively induce erotic states in themselves and their lovers. She can choose to fully receive what her man is giving and manifest a fullness of ecstasy. She can melt into pleasure.
While being pleasured, the woman can continuously ask herself: “What am I giving?“ “What does he long for?“ Asking actively from the first second, the woman does not stay passive but becomes very aware and active in her consciousness. She unifies with her lover.
What Does He Need?
A woman can ask in her heart what her lover needs. The answer will very often be ECSTASY. Very often this is what is actually in the depth of the man’s being. What he is really longing for is for the woman to really let herself enjoy and disappear inside bliss.
The woman might feel inspired to release energies through her feet, as a funny request, or any other inspiration of manifesting which she will feel clearly in her heart.
She will learn through understanding that she can give a lot through receiving. She doesn’t need to get absorbed into what is happening and forget about her lover, but she can make it a very aware experience. She can unify her experience with that of her lover.
The woman can intuit to manifest in a specific way, according to what her man needs at that moment. It will depend on his archetype, on the different hypostasis. This will come as a very clear inspiration in the heart when she actively asks the question.
In Summary
As woman experiences pleasure, man experiences pleasure. As man experiences pleasure, woman experiences pleasure.
Woman is born for ecstasy, and that is what man longs for too. So the tantric saying that: “The happiness of the tantric lover is to make his/her beloved (ecstatically) happy”, is proving itself here in its full splendor.
This article was transcribed and edited by Zita Jerković from the following video: