In Tantra, a man relates to his lover the same way that he relates to the gateway to heaven. She is the key to the spiritual path. If you are able to truly love your woman as a Tantric man, you will be able to attain higher and higher levels of consciousness, of realization.
This is achieved by adoring her as a reflection of the Divine feminine, of the universal feminine. As men, we have the tendency to stay away from life. We want to get some of our desires fulfilled, but we generally want to stay in our cave, in our shell.
The Feminine Principles in Tantra
Everything that moves is the Divine feminine, is Shakti. Our bodies, emotions, desires, problems, achievements, and intensity – generally they are all feminine. The female body is hardwired for fusion – for emotional, affective, and even physical fusion.
The innate capacity for fusion within the female body makes it sacred. The woman is the guru in Tantra. The role of men in front of the feminine is to study fusion, to become the humble disciple by adoring her, by letting her be as she is.
When you embrace, when you make love, when you look into each other’s eyes, even just holding hands as you walk in the street, you learn from her how to fuse. The goal of Tantra, enlightenment, and self-realization, is fusion with the Divine.
Why Are Men Afraid to Fuse?
The way to succeed in Tantra for men is to courageously face life and their woman exactly as they are. That can be pretty scary, challenging, and uncomfortable. Yet in the process of doing this, a Tantric man becomes a man.
There is a wish inside a man to freeze reality, to allow his mind to take care of him, and to go to sleep. A man goes into a kind of numb shell and comes out of it only when the desire is pressing.
Men will make some efforts to be present with a woman, and with life. Men will break through some barriers, and once their desires are fulfilled, they will retreat again to the cave. As men, we have this deep-seated fear of intimacy. When fusion gets too deep, and we feel our shell is cracking open, we withdraw.
Intimacy feels scary, regardless of the number of times a man decides to explore and open to it. However, once a man acts courageously, allowing himself to fuse, he discovers himself and his entire life.
Overcoming Obstacles to Merge Into One
A Tantric man will stay open and will face whatever life and his beloved throw at him. Stay present and keep your eyes and heart open to let life touch you. A tantric man doesn’t suppress or hide, he rather goes straight towards life, towards the woman he loves, and therefore towards his own emotions, desires, and challenges.
Immense fulfillment comes once a man fuses and gives himself completely to a woman who loves him and gives herself fully, by following her nature. With such a union of hearts, when you become one to a very high degree, the man’s sense of identity becomes very clear, and tremendous confidence appears.
This profound soulful identity stays and settles as a man allows himself to fuse with his woman, with the feminine, again and again. Such a man discovers his true desires and emotions and gains an understanding of every problem and situation in life.
The Way to Make Her Happy
As a man, create a safe space for your lover to open up completely and share her Divine feminine. Just be her man. Do not try to fix or judge her, or look at her from above. Instead, protect her, guide and serve her, and be engaged and enthusiastic about making her happy.
A man should make any possible sacrifice to make his lover happy. This attitude awakens in a man some spiritual qualities that would take decades of meditation to attain. The more you fuse with your beloved, the quieter you become in your center, and a settled sense of “I” beyond any limitation appears.
This article was transcribed and edited by Tony from the following video: